The Invincible Moonsheen – Part-48 (Telugu Original “Venutiragani Vennela” by Dr K.Geeta)

The Invincible Moonsheen

Part – 48

(Telugu Original “Venutiragani Vennela” by Dr K.Geeta)

English Translation: V.Vijaya Kumar

(The previous story briefed)

Sameera comes to meet her mother’s friend, Udayini, who runs a women’s aid organization “Sahaya” in America. Sameera gets a good impression of Udayini. Four months pregnant, Sameera tells her that she wants to get a divorce and the circumstances are conducive to it. Udayini asks her to listen to the story of “Tanmayi” and pursue her to make her own decision after listening to the story. Tanmayi and Shekhar, who met at a wedding ceremony, go to marry with the permission of their elders. After the marriage they started their new life in Visakhapatnam. A boy was born to the couple in a year of their marriage. Tanmay engages in her studies deeply and enjoys the friendship with her colleagues forgetting all about her household disturbances. Her parents came to stay with her for a month while Shekhar is away on his long-term camp.

***

“Siddu! I need to talk to you,” Tanmayi said. 

“Certainly, tell me,” said Siddhartha.

Since it was both of their turns for study hours that evening at the college, the rest of the staff had already left. Leading the way out of the college, Tanmayi said, “Let’s walk to the end of the road”. 

After five minutes of silence, Siddhartha turned toward the hesitating Tanmayi and said, as if reminding her, “You called me to say something”. Looking toward the clouds gathering in the distance, Tanmayi said, “I’m thinking about where to start”.

After a ten-minute walk, she said, “I don’t know why Siddu, life is as turbulent as this sky”. 

“Hmm… I can understand. There is nothing as burdensome as life,” he said. “Let’s have some tea,” he suggested, leading the way into a roadside tea shop.

“How are you, sir? Are you doing well?” asked the shopkeeper. 

Before they could even sit down, he shouted, “Two ginger teas!”. Smiling slightly, Siddhartha said, “This is one of the benefits of working in small towns. We don’t even have to place an order”.

Sipping the tea slowly, Tanmayi said, “I have stabilized myself to a large extent, Siddu, but I am afraid of making new decisions”.

 “If you are afraid to make decisions, the reason must be that either the decision is not right, or there is a lack of proper understanding regarding the decision,” he said.

“The first is the dilemma of whether it’s right or not; the second is the necessity to develop that understanding. That’s why I am choosing the middle path and postponing it,” said Tanmayi.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but postponement doesn’t work in all situations. Delaying something good can turn it into poison. You know this already, don’t you? At the same time, hasty decisions don’t work either. But one thing is true: do what you truly like and love from your heart. Only then will you have the strength to handle whether good or bad comes your way once the decision is made. Whatever happens, stick to your decision. Good luck,” said Siddhartha, standing up.

Tanmayi’s heart felt lighter. “Thank you,” she said, looking at him appreciatively and offering a namaste. Her respect for him grew even more. 

“He analyzes any problem beautifully and makes the subject easily understood. Finding a friend like Siddhartha is truly her good fortune,” she thought, looking into the sky as she walked. Strangely, the clouds had scattered, and the sky was peaceful.

By the time she reached home, a parcel was waiting for Tanmayi. It was obvious it came from Prabhu. Thoughtfully, she carefully cut the parcel with scissors. It was a lamination of a photo showing a small boy and girl walking hand in hand.

Hanging that lovely photo on the wall, she couldn’t help but think, “What a great selection Prabhu made!”. His letters and his actions said he was a good person. Her heart desired him. Though she had lived alone all these years, a small hope that it would be nice to have a companion urged her to accept him.

She took a paper and started writing a letter. 

“Dear Prabhu! How are you?

Even before I could finish reading your letter a hundred times, the picture you sent arrived. How beautiful and lovely it is! Innocent love without any deceit. How wonderful the world would be if humans remained so untainted forever! Just like the early winter dew that fell the other day, the rose petals fell out of your letter. The fragrance surrounds me every time I unfold the letter. And now, a picture that spreads eternal bliss! What can I give you to repay this debt!! Here, I am sending my heart as a gift for you”.

She read the letter she had written four or five times. “Yours, Tanu”.

She felt there was nothing wrong with telling him she liked him too. Anyway, she had postponed the thought of marriage for a year. Folding the letter, she placed it under her pillow and lay down. 

She stroked the cheeks of her son sleeping beside her. “You tell me, son! What should I do?” she said. 

A small smile flickered for a moment on his peaceful face in his sleep. Tanmayi pulled him close and kissed him. “That’s enough, son,” she said.

***

Jyoti wrote a letter. It was the wedding of her maternal aunt’s son, who had hosted them in Hyderabad when she came for an interview. Since Bhanu Murthy’s health had stabilized a bit, both of them would come to her first, and they would all go to the wedding together; she was asked to take two days off. Both her mother and father were coming. Tanmayi felt great joy.

She bought groceries needed to make tiffins and other items for the house. Since her father couldn’t sit on the floor to eat, she bought a dining table and two folding chairs. She didn’t have even one silk saree to wear to the wedding. Moreover, she had wanted to buy a good saree for a long time. Siddu’s words came back to her.

Yes, joy lies in living exactly as one’s heart desires. She took Taiba along, agreed to pay in easy installments, and bought a beautiful zari silk saree. She gave the saree for borders and falls and to get the blouse stitched.

This was the first time her mother and father were coming to her after she separated from Shekhar. She drew muggulu at the entrance. She felt an indescribable joy. She studied well and became successful in her life. She was standing on her own feet, working, and living happily in her own way. What more could any parents want?

They would surely be happy to see her. She looked at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. Dark circles under her eyes, sunken cheeks. Yet, life was not hopeless. She wore a cotton Punjabi dress she liked, and put on the thin chain her mother gave her and a pair of bangles. She got the boy ready in pants, a shirt, shoes, and socks. The boy started jumping with joy that his grandfather and grandmother were coming.

She left for the bus stand on her vehicle half an hour before her parents were due to arrive. The bus arrived ten minutes early. As soon as she saw Tanmayi and the boy, Jyoti eagerly picked up the boy and kissed him. Both of them seemed to have missed the boy so much that they took turns carrying him without putting him down for a moment.

Tanmayi felt uncontrollable joy seeing them. She went to her mother and hugged her. She took the bag from her father’s hand. 

As they turned the street corner, Jyoti said, looking at the flags from the Peerla festival at the beginning of the street, “What is this, dear? Couldn’t you find a house anywhere else but here?”

Tanmayi’s joy at their arrival didn’t even last an hour. As soon as she arrived, Jyoti got irritated. “What kind of house is this, without even a separate bathroom? And what’s with that landlady, constantly interfering in everything…” she said. As for the father, he sat with a pained expression, as if Tanmayi had lost something and was living in despair.

To change their mood, Tanmayi said, “Mom, look, I bought a silk saree for the wedding of Aunt’s son,” placing the saree before her. Instead of a change in Jyoti’s face, she started wailing. “That wretched man even snatched the Mangala sutra from your neck. With what face can we go to the wedding now?” she said, starting to sniffle.

As if he didn’t want to hear any of this, her father lay down with his hand over his head. Tanmayi’s happiness completely evaporated. So, her going to the wedding with them was a loss of prestige for them. Since she had separated from her husband, they were worried that people would prick them with words.

Still, without backing down, Tanmayi said firmly, “Mom! Everyone must already know that we have separated. So, there’s no need for the mangalsutra to be visible on my neck. Besides, why should I stop mingling with people as if I’ve done something wrong? Anyway, if anyone says anything, I will answer them”.

“Will anyone say it to your face? They’ll laugh behind your back,” said Jyoti, still sniffling.

 “I don’t care about those who gossip behind my back; if it’s painful for you, I won’t come,” said Tanmayi. 

“Aha, so everyone can taunt us asking why we came to the wedding without bringing you after traveling all this way?” Jyoti said in reverse. Tanmayi started getting a headache. “Tell me what you want me to do,” she said, losing patience and slumping down near her mother. “What can we do? Our fate is burnt like this,” said Jyoti, turning away.

***

They went on the morning of the wedding evening. Since all the close relatives arrived that day, the groom-making ceremony (Pelli Koduku) was already being performed. Everyone started going to shower akshitalu.  A woman, who would be the groom’s aunt by relation, called Tanmayi aside.

“Look here, dear, an auspicious wedding is happening here. Married couples are giving blessings. We heard you and your husband have separated; if you don’t mind, please don’t offer your blessings” she mumbled. Grief suddenly surged within Tanmayi.

She didn’t feel like staying there for even a second. Unable to leave her parents there, she went and sat to one side. She noticed a woman who had lost her husband come and sit beside her, sighing. Tanmayi felt disgusted by people’s superstitious behavior in the name of traditions. It was a feeling of utter helplessness. She decided she would not go to relatives’ houses anymore.

She had made a similar decision before when she was insulted among relatives, but how could she not come when her parents came to her specifically for this? Having gone nowhere for many days, she was properly punished for deciding to go and see this time. Unable to control her grief, she came down to the gate.

Some relatives coming and going began to ask, “Why are you here, dear, while they are performing the ceremony for the groom upstairs?”. 

Opposite her, near a grocery shop, someone parked a vehicle and went to buy something. From behind, he looked exactly like Prabhu.

Even in all that grief, Tanmayi felt a sudden curiosity to see him. She didn’t have the courage to cross the road. What if it was really Prabhu! He wouldn’t leave without greeting her if he saw her. Fearing that if someone saw this and told her parents it would lead to a mess, she quickly climbed the stairs and went back up.

Turning at the last step, unable to restrain her heart, she looked that way. Just as he was starting the vehicle, he looked up. Prabhu! Yes, it was Prabhu! 

Tanmayi’s heart stopped for a moment and then started racing. But she realized that among the many silk sarees on that high floor, he didn’t seem to have noticed her. Forgetting everything happening around her, she remained there, watching until his vehicle was out of sight.

At lunch and at the wedding in the evening, wherever she looked, whomever she saw, Prabhu seemed to appear. Every time the thought of him came, an indelible smile blossomed on her lips. But remembering what happened in the morning, she stayed away from the wedding canopy not offering akshathalu.

Imagining herself and Prabhu in their places, a kind of agony began for some reason. Would all these people around her bless them the same way? Especially, would her parents agree? 

Jyoti misinterpreted the expressions on her daughter’s face.

As soon as they went home the next day, she said reproachfully, “Yesterday at the wedding, everyone just felt pity seeing us. Only our lives are ruined like this. Everyone else in the world is doing well. If you hadn’t insisted on marrying that scoundrel back then, none of this would have happened. What’s the use of crying now?”

Although her mother speaking like this wasn’t new, it caused pain every single time.

Tanmayi began to believe that only if she married again would all these problems be resolved. But during the week her parents were with her, although she wanted to bring up Prabhu, she couldn’t. Surprisingly, even they never brought up the proposal of her remarrying. Was it because she wasn’t ready for such proposals yet? Or because she was meant to stay like this for the rest of her life?. 

For whatever reasons, the reality that women cannot fix their lives as quickly as men when a marriage fails began to dawn on Tanmayi.

***

That morning, Taiba’s mother and father arrived. As soon as she arrived, that mother tearfully embraced her daughter at the entrance, saying, “Daughter, how are you?”. Tanmayi remembered the morning Jyoti and Bhanu Murthy had left.

Holding the boy close and pinching his cheeks, Jyoti had said, “Study well, son”. Turning to Tanmayi, she said, “Be careful, dear”. 

Tears came to Tanmayi’s eyes as her parents were leaving her. She felt it would have been nice if her mother had held her close too.

To Taiba, who was standing at the doorstep, Jyoti said, “To be honest, we love our grandson more than our daughter; we came only because we couldn’t stay away from him. Please look after them a bit, dear”

Tanmayi’s heart stung. She held her father’s hand and helped him and her mother onto the rickshaw. 

She loved them dearly. It was her misfortune that she couldn’t get that love back from them. She sighed to herself.

As she was about to go inside, Taiba followed her, saying, “Madam, you don’t look well, shall I come and sit?”

 “Come, Taiba,” she said, offering a chair. After five minutes of Taiba being silent and not speaking, Tanmayi looked at her and asked, “Is everything okay?”.

“What can I say Madam, my fate is like this. I came thinking my worry would lessen if I told you,” she said.

 “Tell me, Taiba,” Tanmayi said comfortingly. 

“This is the second marriage for both my husband and me,” Taiba said. Tanmayi looked on in surprise.

So, there are hardships in this girl’s life too, yet she always appears with an unfading smile. 

“When I was young, they married me off to a fifty-year-old man. They thought he would provide money. My mother didn’t like it at all. My father convinced me and performed the marriage. Whether it was my luck or misfortune, he died in an accident before the consummation,” she said, stopping and signaling for water.

Bringing water, Tanmayi said, “First calm down, Taiba” 

“At the age of twenty, my younger uncle brought this proposal. His first wife had died. He is a good man, but there’s no bad habit he doesn’t have. He used to torment me day and night. Fortunately, there was no one else around. Two years ago, he went to Dubai. For the past three months, he hasn’t sent a single penny; my younger aunt’s son in Dubai said he is fine. Not a single letter, not a single word. I don’t know what misfortune has struck. I suspect that since I don’t have children, he might have taken someone else,” she worried. “I am very much worried about where he might leave me, Madam. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry, thinking that by marrying a second time, I’ve put my life in sorrow instead of happiness,” she grieved.

Taiba sat silently for a while as Tanmayi stroked her hand. “Alas, what a difficult life this innocent girl is left with,” she felt pained.

 “Don’t worry, everything will be set right,” she said, giving Taiba courage. Although she said it, Taiba’s words kept coming back to her. “By marrying a second time, I’ve put my life in sorrow…”

Would her desire to remarry become equally sorrowful? Right now, she was living in her own way, happily without any burdens. Was she inviting trouble by thinking of sharing her life with Prabhu again? Who knows?

***

That day, feeling a bit unwell, Tanmayi stayed home not going to college. Around eleven o’clock, when there was a knock at the door, she got up slowly. Taiba, and beside her, Siddhartha.

“Here Madam, the English sir asked me to show him the house, so I came. If you’re unwell, let’s go to the hospital,” Taiba said. 

Tanmayi nodded as if to say it was okay. Seeing Taiba go toward the side door, Siddhartha sat down and said, “So you are living as a tenant in her house. What happened? How are you?”

Adjusting her hair, Tanmayi said, “Just feeling a bit unwell, that’s all,” trying to force a  smile.

 “I’ve been noticing that you’ve been distracted lately. You always seem to be in some pain. Is everything okay? If you don’t mind, may I know the reason?” Siddhartha asked.

The grief Tanmayi had hidden until then broke all bounds. Siddhartha listened without blinking while Tanmayi told her story. 

Finally, after talking about Prabhu, Tanmayi took a deep breath. Meanwhile, Taiba brought and served tea.

“Should you skip college and do all these chores, Taiba?” Tanmayi asked.

“Why do you say that Madam, it’s nothing, I told the Principal sir that I am going with the English sir,” she said affectionately. 

Turning to Siddhartha, she said, “You tell her, Sir, she’s always worried about something, how can her health not be like this?” and saying, “I’ll be right back,” she left.

Setting the tea cup down, Siddhartha said, “I really appreciate your bravery, Tanmayi. I admire you. You have successfully overcome life’s hardships so far. Do you still have grief? Rise up, wipe your eyes. I don’t need to tell you to step forward bravely”.

Looking at Tanmayi, who remained the same, he said, “If you permit, I will meet Prabhu. I will help you find out if he is the right one for you or not. What do you say?”

*****

(Continued next month)