Self-respect

Self-respect

-Author &Translator : Dr. C.S.G. Krishnamacharyulu

A smart person with a knack for wordplay once offered a  bilingual interpretation of the telugu word “panimanishi” (domestic worker): pani (work), mani (money), and shi (she). Sundari was well aware of the criticism, ridicule, and accusations that many housewives casually hurled at domestic workers, as if such a definition were perfectly justified. She was hardly surprised by it, for she had grown up in an environment where such attitudes were commonplace. Ever since childhood, the conversations she heard around her seldom recognized a domestic worker as a woman with feelings, dignity, and self-respect, or as a responsible wife and homemaker managing a household of her own.

“They work only for money. No matter how well we treat them, they never seem to be grateful. They don’t come on time, do only some of the tasks they are assigned, leave the rest unfinished, and rush off the moment their time is up,” complained one housewife in frustration.

“Your maid is still better; at least she comes regularly. Ours skips work two days a week. You never know when she’ll bunk or when she’ll show up. The constant waiting and uncertainty have given me high blood pressure,” said another housewife irritably.

“One has to be very careful with these domestic workers, especially the younger ones. While some may resort to theft, others go so far as to ensnare the husband of the house and break up families. We must always be on our guard,” warned a third housewife, voicing her fears.

To Sundari, people who habitually spoke in this manner seemed emotionally unsettled and unable to view domestic workers with fairness. Raising the subject among her friends, she offered the following counsel:

“Many housewives vent their pent-up frustration on domestic workers.  Their anger often stems from a lack of support at home, family tensions, or the pressures of balancing work and life. After all, no domestic worker likes to start her day being reprimanded or drawn into unnecessary conflict. Today, thanks to various government welfare schemes and improved living conditions, many people from poorer backgrounds are striving to protect their dignity and self-respect. That is why a large share of the quarrels between housewives and domestic workers that we see in many homes are, in essence, clashes between self-interest and self-respect.So, if you want a harmonious relationship with your domestic worker, follow two simple principles.

First, remember that she is a woman just like you, and that her work is no less a profession than the job you do.

Second, believe that what we give to others eventually comes back to us. Treat her with kindness, respect, and friendship, and you are likely to receive the same in return.”

***

True to her beliefs, Sundari treated the elderly domestic worker in her household with courtesy, warmth, and respect. The old woman reciprocated Sundari’s kindness with genuine affection and dedication. Their bond flourished for six months, until illness brought their association to an unexpected end. Before leaving, she spoke to Sundari with reassurance:

“There is a young married woman named Rani. She has a great deal of self-respect and does not engage in needless arguments. If you treat her with kindness, she’ll devote herself to the household and work as though it were her own home. She’ll be happy working for you, and you’ll be pleased with her as well. I’ll send her here from tomorrow.”

***

At the sight of Rani, Sundari found herself in a dilemma. The young woman was strikingly beautiful, radiant as a shooting star.For a moment , a flicker of unease passed through her mind. Would bringing such a young and attractive woman into the house alter her husband’s behavior and unsettle the harmony of her home?

Yet she immediately recognized the practical difficulty of the situation. Refusing Rani on mere suspicion would leave her struggling to manage the household. Furthermore, dependable older domestic workers were hard to come by, particularly at short notice, as few were willing to work for the lower wages that smaller households could afford.

Realizing that she had little alternative, Sundari brushed aside her misgivings and welcomed her warmly.

“Come in, Rani.”

That was how Rani came to be employed in Sundari’s household.

***

Rani arrived punctually every day and went about her work with energy and enthusiasm. Chatting cheerfully with Sundari, whom she affectionately addressed as “Akka” (elder sister), she quickly won her over. Before long, Sundari had formed a very favorable opinion of her.Within a fortnight, Rani had grown quite comfortable with both Sundari and her husband, Shashikant. Encouraged by this newfound familiarity, she approached Shashikant one day with a request.

“Sir, you’re a teacher, aren’t you? Please give me tuition in mathematics and help me pass the tenth  class examination.”

Shashikant laughed and replied,

“I’m not a schoolteacher. I’m an assistantprofessor at a university.”

“Even so, Sir,” Rani replied without hesitation. “You learned those subjects once yourself, didn’t you? If you’re willing, I’m sure you can teach me.”

Amused  by her determination, Shashikant asked,

“By the way, why did you stop studying before even taking your tenth class examination?”

“Would our men let a girl study, Sir?My dream was to go to college, earn a degree, and get a good job. But I was told not to entertain such ideas. They got me married off even before I could take my tenth class examinations.”

She paused for a moment and added with a touch of irony,

“They said it would be embarrassing for my husband if I passed the exam. After all, he had failed it himself!”

There was a mixture of disappointment and quiet resentment in her voice as she spoke of the opportunities that had been taken away from her.

“But if you pass the exam now, will your husband accept it?” Shashikant asked.

“Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t,” Rani replied. “But my mother-in-law persuaded him. She told him firmly, ‘If you keep wasting money on drinking and other vices, where will we get the money to survive? Let her study and get a job.’ That’s how she convinced him.”

“That’s good,” said Shashikant. “But we have a problem. Every morning, Sundari leaves for work ahead of me and returns home long after I get back in the evening. If I teach you while she’s away, your husband might become suspicious. People in our apartment complex might also get the wrong idea. And if I teach you only on Saturdays and Sundays, it won’t be of much help to you. Why don’t you try approaching one of the tuition teachers? There are plenty of them around.”

“Who else would teach me free of charge, Sir? As for gossip, I’ll speak to the watchman. He’ll make sure there are no misunderstandings. My examinations are only two months away. Please start teaching me from today,” Rani implored. Touched by her determination, Shashikant could not bring himself to refuse. With Sundari’s consent, he took on the responsibility of tutoring her.

The watchman had daughters of his own and was making every effort to educate them. Perhaps that was why he was especially pleased by Rani’s determination to continue her studies. From then on, he began to show Shashikant a special measure of respect for helping her.

At first, Sundari regarded the tutoring as a benevolent undertaking. Yet, with the passage of time, a faint disquiet took root within her. The increasing ease and familiarity between Shashikant and Rani sowed the first seeds of doubt in her heart.

When Shashikant teased Rani that careless mistakes in mathematics deserved a rap on the knuckles, and Rani laughingly replied, “You’ll have to catch me first, Sir!”, Sundari found herself strangely unsettled. Though the banter was harmless on the surface, it left an unpleasant sting she could not easily ignore. Despite her growing unease, Sundari exercised restraint and let the lessons continue. Eventually, Rani sat for the examination and emerged successful.

***

 Once the examinations were behind her, Rani resumed her usual routine, attending to her work and leaving promptly afterward. Sundari felt a sense of relief, and her affection for Rani increased with each passing day.

Moreover, throughout the two months of lessons, Shashikant had given her no reason whatsoever to doubt his conduct. Seeing his impeccable behavior, Sundari’s faith in him grew stronger than before.But fate was not yet done with her. Soon after the examination results were declared, an unexpected incident cast a shadow across that hard-won confidence.

One day in a playful mood, Shashikant asked Rani,“So, you’ve passed the examination. What reward do I get for all my hard work?”

Rani burst into laughter.

“I am the reward, Sir! Where else will you find a student like me?”

The warmth and affection that flickered in their eyes unsettled Sundari. Though the exchange was light-hearted, it stirred a fresh wave of anxiety in her mind.

That night, she decided it would be better to speak openly to her husband rather than allow her doubts to fester.

“Shashi, there’s something I want to say about Rani. Please don’t take it the wrong way.”

“What is it?” Shashikant asked curiously.

“I have a feeling that Rani looks upon you as a husband and behaves with you in a way that’s more than just friendly.”

Shashikant looked surprised.

“But she already has a husband. She’s living with him. Why would she need to think of me as her husband?”

“Young women sometimes develop crushes on their favorite teachers, film stars, or other figures they admire. Mistaking admiration for love, they idealize them, dream of them as husbands, and sometimes yearn for a deeper emotional, and even physical connection.”

Shashikant understood the source of her concern. As an academic, he was well aware of the many cases in which adolescent girls and young women had mistaken infatuation for love and suffered heartbreak as a result. He also felt that, as a teacher, it was his responsibility to reassure his wife that he would never betray the ethical boundaries of his profession.

After a moment’s thought, he said,

“That’s the world of teenage fantasies. Such feelings usually fade with age and maturity. Besides, Rani isn’t a naïve teenager anymore. I believe she’s grown close to me simply because I’ve treated her with kindness and encouragement. She sees me as a friend and enjoys a bit of harmless banter. There’s nothing more to it, and certainly nothing worth worrying about.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” Sundari replied, settling down for the night.

Shashikant gently drew her into his arms.

“My heart has room for no one but you,” he said softly. “I promise that my actions will never give you cause for sorrow or disappointment.”

The sincerity in his voice dissolved the last traces of her anxiety. Nestling into his embrace, Sundari surrendered herself to a newfound sense of peace.

***

 Ten days later, a tragic event cast a shadow over Rani’s life. Her husband, heavily intoxicated, had gone fishing in a nearby pond. In a drunken stupor, he lost his footing, slipped into the water, and drowned. On hearing the news, Shashikant and Sundari immediately went to console her. They stood by Rani in her hour of grief and contributed toward the expenses of the funeral and related rites.

Once the mourning rituals had been completed, Rani approached Sundari one day with an announcement that caught her completely off guard.

“Akka, I’ve decided to stop working here,” she said.

Sundari was stunned. She said firmly, “Why do you want to leave? You said you wanted to continue your studies and complete Intermediate, didn’t you? If you stay here, you’ll be able to pursue your education. I won’t agree to your leaving.”

“No, Akka,” Rani replied softly. “I don’t want my presence to cause you any trouble.”

“Trouble for me? Have I ever said a harsh word to you?” Sundari asked in surprise.

“No, Akka, you haven’t. But it would be better if a situation never arises in which you might have to.I am very fond of Sir. And I am equally fond of you. As long as my husband was alive, no one found fault with the friendship I shared with Sir. But now things are different. If people start saying that a widow is trying to ensnare him, I won’t be able to bear it.Before someone accuses me of betraying the very sister who cared for me and asks, ‘How could you do this to her?’, it is better that I leave. If I am to preserve my self-respect and safeguard the affection and trust that exist between us, this is the right decision.”

Sundari was silent for a moment.

“Where will you go?” she asked. “To your in-laws’ house or to your parents’ home?”

Rani answered, her voice tinged with bitterness but strengthened by quiet determination..

“Once a girl is married, does she really have a place in her parents’ home? And after her husband dies, does her in-laws’ house truly remain hers? A friend of mine has asked me to come to Chennai. She has promised to find me work there. That’s where I’ll go.”

Then, with affection in her voice, she added,“I’ll take your leave now, Akka.”

Sundari looked at Rani, standing before her with lowered head and folded hands pressed to her breast, striving to contain the sorrow that churned within her lest it overflow through her glistening eyes. The sight touched Sundari’s heart, and a tender smile played upon her lips.

She gently lifted Rani’s chin and looked into her eyes. Then, with all the warmth of an elder sister, she said:

“I understand your fear. But I have faith in you. People who are capable of genuine affection and possess self-respect do not knowingly choose the wrong path.I will not let you go out alone into this cruel world. From this day onward, I will take responsibility for you as if you were my own younger sister. I will see that you complete your graduation, help you find a good job, and when the time is right, I’ll find a worthy young man and arrange your marriage.

And if you still insist on leaving…” she added with mock sternness, “I’ll break your legs and stop you!”

Sundari’s words left Rani speechless. For a moment, she stood frozen, like someone who had lost the power of speech. It seemed to her as though spring had suddenly arrived in a life that had long since turned into a barren desert.

The thought that she could continue her education under Akka’s protective care and grow in knowledge and character with Sir’s encouragement filled her heart with joy. An overwhelming sense of gratitude surged within her, swelling like a vast ocean.

As tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks, Rani bent down to touch Sundari’s feet in reverence. But Sundari gently stopped her and drew her into a warm embrace instead.

Witnessing the scene, Shashikant felt a deep admiration for Rani’s unwavering self-respect and Sundari’s gracious generosity.

*****